tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28976080777220942642023-11-15T09:51:33.152-08:00growing faith...Rachel Duncanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15091396603307962806noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2897608077722094264.post-68369167603396068932013-01-20T18:52:00.001-08:002013-01-20T18:52:57.333-08:00Sometimes I think about who I was, things I did and I feel so different from the person I use to be.
Its weird to think about the way i felt.
the things i thought.
how i acted.
I feel a lot of remorse for it sometimes.
but I guess I am able to forgive easier because of it.
because I can only be thankful for all the forgiveness i've been given.
I can only go forward in Christ, steadfast in him and his truth.
to keep going.
I'm sorry for the example I was then.
but i have to believe that the light thats with in me, the light that I chose, shines brighter and to more people then the dark i ever had did.
Its about healing the wound. but leaving the scar,
staying humble because of Gods grace and mercy something I was given when i didn't even deserve it. Rachel Duncanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15091396603307962806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2897608077722094264.post-4305544132788477782012-11-16T21:41:00.001-08:002012-11-16T21:41:20.415-08:00Gods hands. I've been feeling like i've wanted to write this down for a while..
I use to work at Cookie Cutters. Its a hair salon for kids. I loved my job. I really enjoyed the people I worked with and I loved working with Kids. I had been doing it for several years and the owner of the salon I was working at had asked me If I had ever thought of owning my own. I thought that I wanted to do it.
I was redirected.
I went on a trip with a friend actually I had thought that I would start saving money so I could buy a franchise of Cookie Cutters but that trip redirected me. Mostly because of a boy. but I won't go to much in to that... haha!.
I felt like i needed to quit.
I didn't know why.
I didn't know what I was going to do.
I quit.
I didn't work for a couple months.
Went to lunch with my Mom and her friend for her birthday ended up finding out about an adorable boutique that was hiring. Started working there.
Met the cutest girl in the world I learned so much from her. She was my manager, and I thought she was a doll. I really loved working with her.
After a series of events was led to a new job.
Peerless Beauty supply. I felt like It all worked out so wonderfully fell right into place. Worked there a while. I also really liked the girls I worked with there. Felt like I learned a lot from them as well.
But. One day a girl walks in She works at Sports Clips. Hey. I wanted to work there once I actually interviewed with them once but didn't get it I told her. She said. well we are hiring.
A couple days later the manager of Sport Clips comes in. long story short. I feel like I was directed again to a new job. I love the girls I work with I really enjoy working for SportsClips.
Now, I am moving to Arizona in about a week. I am transferring Sport Clips stores I am thankful for this opportunity I am thankful that I am able to do this. I feel like this is the right move. I am excited. a little nervous. not so much just excited and grateful how things work out.
Lets see where Gods hands lead me next. I believe things work out. And happen for out best interest. (for a reason. :))Rachel Duncanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15091396603307962806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2897608077722094264.post-55248630461648621632012-04-22T15:50:00.002-07:002012-04-22T15:50:54.471-07:00tender mercies and lovely experiencesI believe that God works through people. He uses us as tools to help each other.
A couple days ago I had the strong sense that I needed to clean out all of the old clothes that I don't wear anymore. seems simple enough. I just was looking at them and I was feeling like they were caring a lot of un needed negative energy. I pulled out everything I had, and piled it on my bed. It was a HUGE pile. I started to feel extremly overwelmed and as dorky as it sounds I knelt down and I said a prayer asking for help in getting rid of the things that I didn't need anymore but also asked to help me keep the things that I would need. A couple years ago I purged myself of almost everything I had and later regretted getting rid of a lot of the things that I did. This time I wanted guidance.
Turns out three days after I had gotten everything together I met a girl. She was a single Mom, and we some how got talking about clothes she told me that she doesn't hardly have any, she borrowed some clothes from a friend of hers because she didn't have anything nice to wear for a job interview. She said she had one pair of jeans, a pair of shoes she had had for 10 years and a couple shirts.
I was able to give her all of my clothes that I was getting rid of. I felt and still do feel really grateful to Heavenly Father for helping me listen to the prompting to get rid of the clothes I don't wear, they were beautiful clothes I just for whatever reason didn't wear them. That little experience made me feel so good. It made me feel really grateful to be able to help her out. kindness matters. I think its important that we ask for guidance everyday and instead of looking for "signs" to be guided, we just do. We just go about our life's and because we have asked and have that desire what is needed to happen will happen. God will lead us, He will help us and through him we can do good.Rachel Duncanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15091396603307962806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2897608077722094264.post-54128001676033879482011-03-28T22:37:00.001-07:002011-03-28T23:29:52.583-07:00what would you do?somethings are confusing and somethings make sense. this is just confusing, and it doesn't really make sense to me. This happened several months ago. but I wanted to remember it because it was such a odd night. <br /><br />guidance? I got off work and called my friend Rhiana to see if she wanted to go eat dinner. We met at super salad. <br />after we ate we drove in my car to Target.<br /> I had a weird, bad feeling in Target, like we needed to leave. like something bad was going to happen. I was creeped out. We left. <br /><br />It was freezing cold. bitter cold. deathly cold actually. My lungs hurt from running from Target to the car. holy cow it was cold. <br /><br />We are sitting in the car in the parking lot at super salad. Rhiana not wanting to leave because my car was so warm. We're just talking, Rhiana looks up, she gasps, I look up. Standing out side of the car is a man. asking me to roll down my window. Oh crap i think. <br /><br />I am hesitant but end up rolling it down. He says he's freezing (I believe that.) He's trying to get to Provo. He just got out of incarceration he's trying to get to his nephew. I'm sitting in the car shocked this is happening. He tells us his nephew is sick and someone took his car so he has no way of coming to get him. I say. okay. well how did you get here. He says he took the trax station. I say okay, go back to the trax station and take that to Provo. He says it doesn't go any further South. and all the buses were done for the night. it was about 10ish... I'm like holy freak what is going on. I can't let this dude in my car. I don't know what to do. but i can't just drive off. it was so cold outside. I was thinking he's going to die if he stays in this weather all night. i don't know what to do .... i don't know what to do.... I call my brother in law to ask him, he doesn't answer.... I didn't know who else to call... I call 911. I tell them exactly what is going on, I ask if the can send a police officer to asses the situation. The operator tells me that a officer is not going to come give this guy a ride. I say to her. what would you suggest I do? I don't feel comfortable letting him in my car because it is just me and my friend. but I don't feel comfortable just driving away because it is so cold. She says. well i don't suggest you let him in the car. She was no help. ( I had rolled my window up because i didn't want the guy to know i had called 911, by this point he is walking away, I'm sure he just figured we weren't going to do anything to help him.) <br /><br />I hang up with the 911 dispatcher lady. I say to Rhiana I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I say God. I don't know what to do. what do I do? I don't feel, anything. The only thing I think is, "when you help the least of them you are helping me" I say okay Rhiana get out of my car, I'm going to go get him. She says. you cant go get him by yourself. I say okay. are you okay with this? are you okay with going to pick him up to take him somewhere. she says yeah. <br /><br />We drive to go find him. he has gone left but we have to turn right because there is a median in the middle of the road. we pull up right behind a police officer... I start honking my horn and flashing my lights. I guess he doesn't hear me because he just drives off.. I'm like really? we turn around to go get him. I pull up right next to him I say. HEY. You have to understand I am not comfortable letting you in my car. We are two girls alone. and you are some random dude we don't know, asking for a ride to Provo. I said, But. I do know how cold it is outside. and I don't feel comfortable just driving off to let you die in the cold. I said there can be NO FUNNY BUSINESS. My friend will have her cell phone ready to push 911. and that bag, Your bag. I don't know whats in your bag. You CAN NOT have that in the back with you... he says, that's okay, thats okay, here take it you can hold it as he's pushing it in the open window. and I said and your coat... I don't know if you have a knife or a gun or whatever could be in your pocket... he's like, No, no i don't I don't have anything like that, here you can take it all, I'm just so cold, I'm freezing cold, thank you thank you so much. You have idea how cold I am, as he's taking his gloves, hats coat, everything off handing it to Rhaian through the window. he shows us his passport. I say. Okay. now you can get in the back. He's about crying he's saying thank you thank you. <br /><br />He gets in the car. LOOONG story short. we drive in 35 min to Provo. I DO NOT suggest picking up random strangers and giving them a ride. BUT. for some reason I think he needed us that night. it was because i trusted God, and thought when you serve the least of them you are serving me. I felt like it was the right thing to do.no matter how crazy. dumb. asinine it seems. that night was freezing cold. ( if it wasn't so bitter cold. I would never have done that.) I used my street smarts ( yep. yep. i did.) and i helped out someone down on there luck. I hope it never happens again. but I'm thankful for the safety i was blessed. <br /><br />God is aware. God was aware of that man. He was aware of me. He was aware of Rhiana. and i can only assume he sent us to help him. I'm thankful for my safety. and I hope that man is making better choices.Rachel Duncanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15091396603307962806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2897608077722094264.post-77011696040996829172011-03-21T23:17:00.000-07:002011-03-22T00:00:51.381-07:00i cried it out. and now i feel betterI don't usually cry a ton. but tonight i cant stop my heart chakara is warm, not the good oh i feel so nice and warm in my bosom warm. its kind of a dull ache feeling. My understanding is so small. so tiny. so little. But tonight I'm sad. I look like hell too. my eyes are all sorts of red and puffy. my nose is stuffed. my hair is in a braid and I'm blowing my nose in a red handkerchief. I'm so happy I'm single.... hahaha. seriously though. actually i wouldn't want anyone to see me like this. I have this doll I've had since i was a baby. her name is jamie pie. she sort of looks like a baby clown. but she's soft and squishy and i love her. i remember i use to not be able to sleep with out her. one night we couldn't find her I wasn't going to be able to sleep until i had her with me. I think my dad found her. maybe it was my mom. I don't remember. Its okay to cry. it gets out the stuff you don't need inside your body... right?? yea. i guess so. it's easy to have a pity party and then you have to slap your face because you weren't just in a tsunami. why the heck is there a dumb T in the front of that word. and chameleon I still don't know how to say that word right the first time. I hope I've never caused anyone so much hurt that they cried and cried. Oh my gosh I'm so drama tonight. I'm going from one thing to another. crying about that. then i settle myself then i start thinking about something else... lol oh hells bells. get a grip. I haven't bit my nails in a while. that's successful. and I've been moisturizing my face daily that's so lovely. although i have a big pile of clothes on my floor waiting to be put in there rightful place in the closet I forgive myself. I really do like doing things a Mom would do. and i really do wonder if i ever will be a mom. I'm so scared of the thought of ever having kids and maybe scaredier I'll never have the chance. Men scare the crap out of me. I don't get them. I don't understand them. I hate them. yet i love them. Its such a bizarre mess. Whatever I thought love was. isn't really. I'm so lucky I've really been blessed with the best best friends in my life. whenever I've had a best friend. I've had aBEST friend. and unless i find that in a dude version I wont ever get married. I don't want to. I don't care who's reading this. I don't care who's not reading this. Its just making me feel better to type these words. haha. i know. I'm crazy. what eve. :)Rachel Duncanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15091396603307962806noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2897608077722094264.post-38952047366081953542011-01-09T21:05:00.001-08:002011-01-09T21:54:28.505-08:00it snowed.I'm not sure of a lot of things. I don't have prof I don't have evidence but I'm learning that that's okay. Today my mind has been thinking a lot. round and round it goes. <br /><br />When I was a teenager, I hated more then i loved, I hated who i was, I hated where I was, I hated a lot of things. I was confused I was unsure and I was mad.<br />I've grown up in an LDS religion I've gone to church since I was little. I believed I went to church and I trusted, I loved hearing stories about faith and I believed them. Once a month there is a fast and testimony meeting where it is open to the people in the church to get up and share there testimony on the gospel of Jesus Christ of latter day saints. When I was really little, I was obnoxious and always wanted to be talking and the center of attention, every other Sunday we would go to my Dad's church on their fast and testimony meetings all you would have to do was stand up and the priesthood holders would bring you a microphone and you could bare your testimony from where you were standing, I remember I would stand up almost every fast and testimony meeting. One time in particular my little brother was laying underneath the benches and while I was baring my testimony he started to tickle my feet, I was getting really frustrated and flustered. I started to cry. after the meeting a women came up to me and thanked me for my testimony and she told me, I cried because I had felt the spirt. <br />NO.<br /> I thought. You are wrong. <br />I started to question if anything i had been taught was true. up to this point I had trusted my parents and what they had said and what they had taught. Now i was confused. was this all a lie. I didn't bare my testimony anymore. <br /><br />I grew into a teenager and lost all belief in Love. I didn't know what it was and I thought it was just a lie. I hated myself so much. I would say the meanest things to God, You screwed up, what is wrong with you, If anything is possible fix me, change me, please bless that I will just die turn into nothing become nothing,<br /><br />One Christmas we were not suppose to get snow. the chance was slim. the weather man said we would not be getting snow for Christmas. <br />That Christmas Eve I said a prayer for the first time in a long time, I needed to know if God loved me, I asked for a sign, (I know now sign seeking isn't right Its not faith but i was at a different place I was thinking differently then I do now) <br />I prayed that if it snowed then, I would know God loves me, I remember my mom coming into the room Christmas morning to wake us up, one of the first things she said was, It snowed. I jumped up and ran to the window. It had snowed. was this an answer to my prayer? I was hopeful for a little while then told myself no. it was a coincidence. It would have snowed even if I didn't say that prayer. <br /><br /> I've experienced a lot of things, I've thought a lot of things, I was dreaming once, I was lucid dreaming, so i knew i was dreaming and i was manipulating it to have things happen the way i wanted them to, In my dream I thought I'm going to go back in time and I am going to change some things make them so they never happened, in my dream I couldn't do it, it wouldn't change for me. The things I wanted to change so bad wouldn't change for me. Then the thought i had was, maybe it wasn't something that you would have liked to happen, but maybe it was suppose to happen, now, move forward. except it the way it is, learn from it and move on. <br /> <br />I appreciated that dream. I am at a totally different place to where I was, But I am thankful for what I have experienced, I feel like I am a more compassionate, understanding person because of what I have learned. I am thankful for what I have learned and I can recognize the difference my life was, to what is now. am I perfect now, have I overcome all my weaknesses. no. I'm still learning but because I was able to apply the atonement of my Savior Jesus Christ I have a little bit of a better understanding of the love that he has for me, for everyone. <br /><br />I now have a testimony apart from my parents, I have read the Book of Mormon, I have learned things and I've come to the place to trust things. Do i understand it all, no way. but i kinda think that's half the fun. I love faith. I love the way it makes me feel <br /><br />Faith is the 1st principle in the LDS church Faith is a hope for things which are not seen which are true, Faith for me is trusting that there is a God that is aware of me and my needs, that he created me that he knows me, Faith for me is trusting that because I believe in him and trust in him, I am exactly where I need to be, Faith for me is believing that because I am following the commandments he has given to us that everything I am doing in this life is going to affect me forever. I am trusting that what I have learned and felt to be true. I feel the love the Savior and my Heavenly Father have for me and I have faith that it is real. and that brings me peace. the faith that I have that God is a perfect just judge full of perfect love and understanding, brings me comfort, brings me hope and brings me peace.Rachel Duncanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15091396603307962806noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2897608077722094264.post-78725777965494088442011-01-01T00:15:00.000-08:002011-01-01T00:26:36.274-08:00re-learning<span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-style:italic;">New Years is here!<br /><br />For me I have been thinking about New Years resolutions for a while now, asking people what there's is going to be, and just trying to think of what I want to do, If I want to do anything. I don't usually ever really make any New Years resolutions, well, except get super skinny, so that I can actually like the way I look..(as I roll my eyes at myself.. I need to get over that) we can say though my follow through in the past hasn't worked. ( not to my expectation, that is.) And thats okay. I am where I need to be.<br />But,<br />this year i'm thinking about doing things a little different.<br /><br />Different.<br /><br />Different how? um... I'm still trying to figure that out.<br />I heard something on some commercial on the T.V. about re-learning something, I wasn't really paying attention so I don't even know what they were advertising but when I heard that I thought, thats it. Thats what I want my 'New Years resolutions' to be about, re-learning.<br />I am grateful with my life the way it is, I am grateful with the things that I have learned, and the experiences I've experienced, I am grateful with the things that have taught me, and helped me grow, into who I am. But, with that said, I would also like to re-learn some things. <br />I want to be a better me. <br />I want to be a happier me.<br /> I want to be a more optimistic, trusting, loving, compassionate, honest, me. I want to be kinder to myself. I want to be more loving to myself. Now, this may all sound very selfish, and even self-centered, and maybe it is a little bit. But I can't tell you how sick I am of feeling like 'one' day i'll be good enough. Not right now but 'one' day in the future I'll be enough. Instead of thinking like that, I want to 're-learn', I want to be good now. I am a person of value. I have a purpose, maybe its just to be kind to the little kids that come get there haircut at my salon, maybe its something bigger, but whatever it is I am ready to re-learn how I feel about myself. I think a lot, if not everyone can relate to this, and that is why I am putting it out there. I think a lot, if not all of us are too hard on ourselves, thinking that we are not enough, where we are at. because we are not where someone else is, or we just aren't where we "think" we need to be. I say WHATEVER to that, I have a God that created me, who is aware of me, who loves me and because HE is God If i wasn't where I need to be he would do something about it. My God is all powerful, all knowing and all loving. He has the power to do anything, and everything, so knowing that I know I've been where I need to be, and I am where I am because I should be. That thought gives me hope.<br />That thought gives me peace.<br />I know I am a spiritual being here on earth to progress and to learn.<br /> I want to progress, and I want to learn.<br /> This year I am going to re-learn some things. This year I am going to try to re-learn a lot of things. This year maybe you want to re-learn some things? And maybe it just starts out by trusting. <br />trusting and believing that even though it may seem like its in the future, whatever it is. Its actually enough now. perfect now. right in this moment its just right. now.<span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-style:italic;"></span></span></span></span></span></span>Rachel Duncanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15091396603307962806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2897608077722094264.post-88354477560454008632010-12-22T21:55:00.000-08:002010-12-22T22:10:22.482-08:00enough.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;">growing, growing, growing. </span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;">we each have something to learn, everyday. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;">some people learn fast.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;">some people learn a little slower.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;">neither is wrong.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;">there are no mistakes.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;">life is life. it is. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;">its life. it just is. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;">You were a born a baby. you are enough.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;">you cried. you are still enough</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;">you grew to a toddler, you are enough.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;">you disobeyed, you are still enough.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;">you grew more. everyday. every. day. you are enough.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;">every day you are enough.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;">you made mistakes. you are enough. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;">you made them again. you are enough.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;">you learned, you are enough. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;">you are the same person as that baby that was a baby and was enough then, you are enough now. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;">now believe it.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;">we all have things to learn. I hope we can all be taught the way that helps us learn the fastest. and i hope we can do things to remind us of what we have learned so we <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">don't</span> forget and need to learn it again. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;">sometimes things happen that you wish <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">didn't</span> but they did. If you dream hard enough you cant change what has already happened. maybe you wish it <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">didn't</span> happen, maybe your having a hard time moving on. but even if <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">that's</span> the case you are still enough. <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">doesn't</span> matter how long you think about it. it <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">doesn't</span> matter how long you dwell on it. you will learn. but you do already know. try to remember and just believe you are enough. say it say it say it. until you know it know it know it. because <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">whether</span> you believe it or not, you are enough. </span></span></div>Rachel Duncanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15091396603307962806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2897608077722094264.post-51177078630906868132010-12-01T09:31:00.000-08:002010-12-01T09:55:43.954-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">It is or it isn't. </span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I doesn't believe in coincidences</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> why should I? I have a God who is aware of me, my needs and every aspect</span></span><span class="pronGrp"><span pr="US" type="US" class="pr"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> of my life. Do I understand how he could, or even does do it. How he's so aware of me. Not even just me every other spirit child he has created. No. of course I have not a clue. but I have faith. Have I wondered if he is even paying any attention, yes.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="pronGrp"><span pr="US" type="US" class="pr"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> but, Each day I would like to doubt a little less and know a little more.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="pronGrp"><span pr="US" type="US" class="pr"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> So I choose to not believe in 'coincidences'. I have trust. I have hope. I have Faith, that my life is how it should be. I am living the plan he has for me. I am the plan he has for me. Do I see someone else's life and think that should be me, I should have that. Do I think it should be different, sometimes do. But I feel like that must be just part of growing as a human being. Learning to not compare just love. love and trust that as you do good you choose whats right for you. You have the life you are destined to have. You have everything you have ever wanted, and you can have anything you want now. You are evolving changing growing learning trusting going and doing.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="pronGrp"><span pr="US" type="US" class="pr"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">God is God. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="pronGrp"><span pr="US" type="US" class="pr"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">God created me.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="pronGrp"><span pr="US" type="US" class="pr"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">God created it all. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="pronGrp"><span pr="US" type="US" class="pr"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">There mere thought of his power and hand in my life gives me so much hope. so much comfort. so much peace. I choose to feel that way. I have faith in his awareness of my life. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="pronGrp"><span pr="US" type="US" class="pr"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">He loves me. I love him.</span></span></span></span></div>Rachel Duncanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15091396603307962806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2897608077722094264.post-47044732163168367262010-11-16T06:36:00.000-08:002010-11-16T07:28:52.677-08:00oh baby is that you<div>I needed to change my flight. I change my flight.</div><div><br /></div>I'm sitting at the airport flying back to SLC and I see a Mom with 3 kids. little kids. at this point I just notice her. <div><br /></div><div>Standing at the B loading area at South West quite a ways in front of me is this guy, very good looking, I think to my self I want to sit by him, its open seating, so this was perfect. We start loading onto the plane. He sits in an asle seat, I choose the spot a row behind on the other side of the plane, very easy to see each other, an asle seat. I'm thinking this is perfect. I sit down. Then I glance back there's that Mom with her 3 kids. I thought I saw her standing with someone before, but it looks like she's traveling alone. with 3 babies. I keep glancing back because i'm trying to figure out if she is alone or not. I say to her, Your kids are so cute! how old are they. She tells me the oldest just turned 3 the middle just turned 2 and the baby was almost a year. about 9months old. I say well you've got your hands full! she laughs yeah. </div><div><br /></div><div>The plane takes off. We've been flying for a while. The baby the Mom is holding is getting fussy. then the one by the window starts crying. The Mother is trying to comfort her with her hand. theres not much else she can do she has a baby on her lap a kid in the middle seat and her at the window crying. I'm getting super ansie I wanted to take the baby out of her hand so she could comfort the crying one. It was very hard for me to sit still. and not say anything but I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable. The little girl stops crying and I glance back and make eye contact with the Mom, I say to her, I'm traveling alone if you need any help I can help. She just kind of smerks. Okay. I said something. I felt better.</div><div> </div><div>Were about an 1 1/2 into the flight and the ladies kids are doing awesome. I'm really impressed I'm still more focused on this guy sitting in front of me. I get up to go to the bathroom. I come back to my seat, the Mom and I make eye contact. She says Is there bathrooms on airplanes? I'm like Yeah I point to it Its back there, Do you want me to hold your baby so you can go to the bathroom? She says that would be so nice. Thank you. She says i'm going to take her to the bathroom can you watch the one by the window too, I'm like of course! I'm playing with the baby she is so cute! so cute! All of her girls were cute! the one by the window is smiling at me and just staring at me. It was cute. The Mom comes back. She now trusts that I really want to help throughout the rest of the flight we small talk a little and I help her with her kids. She tells me they all have never flown before. They actually were suppose to fly yesterday but she was so un prepaired for the airport, she didn't know what to expect she hadn't even brought a stroller or anything so it turned out she missed her flight, she said someone told me I just wasn't meant to fly today. She said her Mom gave her some money and some snacks for the kids so they were a little better prepaired this time. She said we are staying with someone for a month I was like Oh. thats fun! is it family? She says no. I just have it all set up someone ones suppose to be picking us up from the airport and everything. I said Oh. well fun. </div><div><br /></div><div>So the plane is starting to get ready to land. All the kids are asleep its about 10pm. We land. all of her girls are still asleep. I'm glancing back i'm thinking how is she going to get 3 sleepy kids off of a plane by herself. I start looking at my stuff, I have a purse and a carry on. I think Yea. I could easily carry out a baby. The asle's moving people are getting off the plane. I say to the Mom, would it help if i carried someone out for you? She's like actually that would. thank you. so I put my purse on one shoulder grab the baby grab my carry on and I start up the asle. and yes. I did have to be wearing over the knee high heel boots. that day. but thats right. i'm talented. :) haha. We get to where they bring out your strollers and I see one that looks like one a little kid plays with. I say is this yours? She's like yea. I put the baby in it. Now that we are standing up I look at the Mom and I can see that she is pregnant, i'd guess 7 or 8months pregnant.</div><div><br /></div><div>I couldn't leave this women, I didn't want to be a creep and like stay right with her bugging her but I just didn't want to leave her. she had a back back on her back a baby in the stroller and to kids holding on to the stroller walking. and she's pregnant. The one little girl just wants to be held. So she picks her up and trys to push the stroller, gets a couple steps and says to her I can't do this your going to have to walk the little girl starts crying. They all have to be so tired. so I just turn around and go pick up the little girl and start carrying her for her. We are walking together to baggage claim I asked her again how old the kids were. she starts telling me a little bit about them. They are from Virginia. she's 8months pregnant. I said Wow. do you know what you are having? she just kind of shrugs. No. Thats why we are here. we are staying with a family thats going to adopt the baby. They gave me a little money to come out here and they are giving us a little money to go home with. We can't afford another baby. My heart broke. I tried my hardest to give no reaction. I said so is your ride going to pick you up at baggage claim? she says well I need to find a phone so I can call her. I hand her my cell phone. she calls. It took us a while for us to find her. as soon as she came up, I left. I didn't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable so waved bye and headed out the doors. </div><div><br /></div><div>The next day I couldn't stop thinking about her and her cute little family. I cried all day. I was suppose to meet her. We were suppose to cross paths. Did I know I was being led by the spirit? No. for me, sometimes I think the spirit uses really good looking guys to get me where I need to be, and just when I think its them I'm suppose to meet God says look back. </div>Rachel Duncanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15091396603307962806noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2897608077722094264.post-56799565558965461092010-11-15T23:00:00.000-08:002010-11-15T23:45:21.933-08:00that one girl.I made a lot of choices I wish I could take back. I became someone I didn't know. You wonder how could such a good thing go so terribly wrong. How could I let myself do that. Where was I? Murky water. I don't even think I was asking for help. but because someone loves me. I got it. <div><br /></div><div>Once upon a time I went to Miami.</div><div><br /></div><div>The dad wasn't able to go to Miami so the Mom took me to help her with her kids. I was given Sunday and Monday off, um? what was I suppose to do by myself in a city I had never been to?well.. If all else fells and its a Sunday, you always have 3 hours at church. so I called up a bishop in Ohio, asked him if there was any LDS churches by where I was staying that I could go to while I had the day off. he said he'd get right back with me. He called me back and said within blocks of where I was staying there is a singles ward. it starts at one he gave me the address and the name of the bishop to that ward. Well. okay. I had 3 hours taken care of. ;) </div><div><br /></div><div>That Sunday looking back there wasn't anything that was going to be in the way of me getting to that ward. The lady at the fontainebleau hotel printed off a map quest of how to get there, that was easy. I do remember It was a really windy day. I got a cab. He drove me right to the church. He said to me as i'm getting out, no one's ever had me take them here. I just smile and thought yeah. I'm sure they haven't. I don't even know what i'm doing here. I'm about an hour early the spanish speaking ward was still in, I met an older couple while i'm sitting in the foyer we start talking. They tell me that that ward doesn't start for quite a while, they tell me to go to the beach and hang out until its time, I end up at walgreens. I'm walking around walgreens. The thought, you don't have to go. Just keep shopping. Don't go. I was like yeah. that would be easier. then I don't have to deal with anyone and I could just be alone. then i'm like. you know your going to get bored if you do that then what will you do with your whole day off, If you just go to the church that takes up a good 3 hours and then you can go shopping after.</div><div><br /></div><div>I end up going to that ward.</div><div>I notice a boy passing sacrament. he's dang good looking. he doesn't look at me. I think oh well. who cares like i'm ever going to see any of these people ever again. It was fast and testimony meeting. </div><div><br /></div><div>It was like everyone that stood up and bore their testimony's were talking to me. I needed to hear all of them. One boy says, it's either true. Or its not. I decided then, i need to figure it out. I made a commitment then I was going to actually read the Book Of Mormon for the first time. I had grown up my whole life Mormon but wanted to be so different from every other Mormon girl that I didn't think I was cut out for it, I had actually never had even given it a chance. just assumed that to be different I had to be completely different. </div><div><br /></div><div>after church was over, a boy comes up and invites me to go to the fireside that happens to be going on later that evening. sure. i'd love to go (I dont have anything else to do anyway.) So he introduces me to the Relief Society president she was sweet. It was so funny she's like, so where are you from? I told her I was living in Ohio at the time, and she's like oh my gosh this is so weird last night I had a dream I was drawing a map for someone trying to get to Ohio, and now your here. she was like thats sort of weird. </div><div><br /></div><div>I end up hanging out with her. I go to choir practice with her. of course the choir director girl makes me sing in front of everyone to see if i'm a alto or soprano hahaha it didn't matter how many times I told her I would never be back, she insisted i sung. Yeah. If that wasn't awkward. :) everyone I met there were so much fun. It was like I already knew them, It was just really comfortable.</div><div><br /></div><div>We drive to the fireside. I meet sacrament boy. and another funny do you have a pen I can borrow boy. They (at different times) ask me to go out tomorrow, since i'll be off.</div><div><br /></div><div>LONG story shorter, God used one of them as a tool to get me home. He used one of them as a "lure" if you will to get me to move back to Utah. </div><div><br /></div><div>I will forever have a soft spot in my heart for that boy. I feel like he saved me. saved me from the bad choices i was making. I seriously have no idea where I would be right now if I wouldn't have met him. I have A LOT of love for him. for what he did. wether he knows it or not. I wish him the best. always.</div><div><br /></div><div>I don't know if this was as much of a spiritual prompting or just a blatant miracle. but I don't ever want to forget it. </div>Rachel Duncanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15091396603307962806noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2897608077722094264.post-7520116398768403972010-11-15T21:47:00.000-08:002010-11-15T22:41:38.634-08:00what did i just say?<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">Yesterday in church we heard a lot about the holy ghost, spiritual promptings. In Relief Society we talked about the importance of writing down any and all your spiritual promptings or times we feel we were led by the spirit. Today at work I felt like I should start a blog about all my promptings, so I can remember them. So I can read them again, and remember the love the Savior and my Heavenly Father have for me. Proof that God has his hand in my life.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">For me I have felt the spirit in <i>many</i> different ways. This is a story about one way I have felt it.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">When I moved to Ohio to work as a nanny, I got there on a Wed. worked the following Thursday and Friday then had the weekend off, Saturday and Sunday. I had wanted to go to the local LDS church out there to meet people, since I knew absolutely no one. Not really even the family I moved in with, I mean I had met them one weekend before I moved in but that was it. So I was really really nervous to ask to use their car. I went up stairs started talking with the Mom and then chickened out in my head. I thought, I'd just go the next Sunday. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">Then all of the sudden out come the words, Can I use the car? I literally surprised myself. The Mom was so nice and was like, Of course you can. It was really funny I was like, okay. I guess I'm going to church. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">I didn't know where the church was. but I had an address.and a time it started, I asked the Mom if she knew where the street was that the church was on, she didn't. So I just figured that it was a small enough town I could drive around until I found it. Hey. I was good at driving around aimlessly... anyway. so I get in the car and I think; Okay, Heavenly Father if I'm suppose to be at church I need you to help me get there. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">I'm driving and Then the thought, OH yeah! I can call my Mom and she can map quest it for me! I thought it was brilliant. I call her, its about 730am her time but she answers, I tell her what I need her to do, So she gets up to go get onto the computer. I look at the sign at the street in front of me and it says, beech street. hahahahaha. oh my goodness I think. I just found it! I start laughing on the phone with my Mom, I'm like, Mom! I just found it. I drove straight to it! hahaha. that's funny. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">So I go inside church. I met SO many friendly nice people that Sunday. So many people I'm still friends with now. But the funny thing is I met a girl there that later became my best friend, I believe I needed her while I was out there living in Ohio we just clicked right away. Her and her family welcomed me into their family, and the funny thing is if I would have waited till the next Sunday to go, like I thought I had decided I was going to do, I would not have met her, the next Sunday she wasn't there. actually the next couple Sundays she wasn't there. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">I know I was suppose to be at church that day. I know I was suppose to meet her. looking back. I KNOW I was directed by the spirit to get there. Did I know it while it was happening. No. Things just worked out. It was what I refer to as effortless action. acting. but being obviously led.</span></div></div>Rachel Duncanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15091396603307962806noreply@blogger.com0